1. Xaiver's advised me to get rid of a few of my rhetorical questions because I had too many. He always helped me with some sentence structure, and as always asnwering questions I left my audience with. For example in the part of my paper where I start talking about standardized testing he wanted me to elaborate more. I never did elaborate because I was scared it would start to sound like I was going off on a tangent. He assured me I wouldnt so thats what I have to fix.
MC advisaed me to stop being so incredibly personal. Theres certain places in my paper where its unneeded and will be much stronger if I just talk more about my sources instead. For example when i say things like "I wanted to dig deeper." He also had me change some things like "smaller class sizes" to "student teacher ratio" so it wouldnt sound so repetitive.
Megan told me to make the introduction of my paper more clear as to which argument I'm using as well.
2.The most helpful piece of advice I recieved was from Megan. She said that parts of my essay were good enough to keep so personal, however there are some that can go which will make my essay stronger. Like MC, she thinks that I should get rid of the paragraph where I start talking about my reseach process.
3.The least helpful advice as always are things like sentence structure and a paragraph I wrote in second person. These are easy fixes that probably why they are the least helpful.
4. I plan to drop almost all of my rehtorical questions and turn them into stronger, blunt sentences. Also I want to get rid of a lot of first person and talk more about the view of my sources. Also I think I can bring up other benefits rather than smaller class sizes to help change more of the argument against public schools. Last but not least I will make sure its clear that my introduction becomes more clear that my paper is a rogerian argument.
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